Into The Mind Of Zar
President and founder of New Social Science
BLOG.NEWSOCIALSCIENCE.COM
How To Get A Girl's Number
I danced with a girl dressed in 80s style clothing. Her friends were leaving, and we talked for a bit. Before she leaves, I throw in a comment I made up on the spot, but it sounded pretty good, and it got me her number.
Me: You guys have fun. Give me a hug, cuz I'll probably never see you again. [hug] Isn't that weird?
80sGirl: What?
Me: Well, we all meet so many people, have fun, and never see them again. Nobody realizes it, but there's a million different possible futures ahead of us.
80sGirl: Yeah, that's why we gotta make the right decisions.
Me: But, how do we know? Who knows, the girl I was dancing with before you could be the woman of my dreams. For all I know it could even be YOU.
80sGirl: Well--
Me: How scary is that, right? I mean, YOU!? Haha
80sGirl: Haha. Shut up! [hits my arm]
Me: [take out my phone] You know what? I'm gonna get your number, who knows what dark path this will lead me down.
BAM! It was totally random, and on the spot, but I will log that one away for future use. Try it out!
Leaving Voicemail
I don't have texting. I know, it sucks. It forces me to actually call these girls and have a real life conversation. I mean... like, OMFG, that is soooo 1990s. Anyway, I called six girls today (all voicemail) and left the same message:
"What's up dude, it's Zar. I just saw the funniest thing, haha! Okay, it's actually kinda fucked up, but it made me laugh. Anyway, I'm at work... get a hold of me, I'll tell you all about it. Later!"
Five out of the six were girls I haven't had contact in over two weeks. I got a 100% callback, and only two of them asked what was so funny. I didn't have any follow-up, so I randomly used a story of a kid running to catch the ice cream truck, then tripping over the curb and doing a ninja roll, only to get back up and speed to the truck in front of all the other kids.
Try it out, fellas!!
"What's up dude, it's Zar. I just saw the funniest thing, haha! Okay, it's actually kinda fucked up, but it made me laugh. Anyway, I'm at work... get a hold of me, I'll tell you all about it. Later!"
Five out of the six were girls I haven't had contact in over two weeks. I got a 100% callback, and only two of them asked what was so funny. I didn't have any follow-up, so I randomly used a story of a kid running to catch the ice cream truck, then tripping over the curb and doing a ninja roll, only to get back up and speed to the truck in front of all the other kids.
Try it out, fellas!!
Getting A Response
I see these five cute girls laughing and taking pics, so I approach.
Me: Look at you guys! You look all cute, sitting there, best friends. Picture perfect.
Them: [smiles]
Me: So, what are we celebrating?
Them: [deer-in-headlights look]
Me: Umm... you guys okay?
Them: ...
Me: Okay, have fun...
I still don't understand that one. My friend says maybe they didn't speak english, but I don't know. I think it’s because I didn’t give them any options. What would someone say in that scenario, “thanks”? If I were in their position I wouldn’t know what to say either. Lesson learned: try to evoke a response.
Me: Look at you guys! You look all cute, sitting there, best friends. Picture perfect.
Them: [smiles]
Me: So, what are we celebrating?
Them: [deer-in-headlights look]
Me: Umm... you guys okay?
Them: ...
Me: Okay, have fun...
I still don't understand that one. My friend says maybe they didn't speak english, but I don't know. I think it’s because I didn’t give them any options. What would someone say in that scenario, “thanks”? If I were in their position I wouldn’t know what to say either. Lesson learned: try to evoke a response.
I Am Middle Eastern, Damnit!
Sitting by herself, me and my buddy took the seat next to her. After talking and laughing with my friend, I tapped her on the arm.
Me: Hi
HispanicGirl: Hi
Me: What are you doing sitting here by yourself? Where are your friends?
HispanicGirl: [points to her friends, standing/talking]
Me: Oh, so you're just chillin? You're too cool for your own friends?
HispanicGirl: I'm tired.
Me: You know... [pause]... I think I'm the ONLY white guy here.
HispanicGirl: I know! I noticed!
Me: You noticed? (jokingly) Great, we got a stalker here, ladies and gentlemen.
We start joking/laughing about how I'm the minority in that place. My buddy says it's like the time I walked into a club that was all african american. ... ?... Confused, but I run with it, and make up a story about how I show up at this place full of black dudes.
I say that it was strange at first, but I walked out with everyone loving me, saying "play that funky music, white boy" and she's loving the story. The funny thing is, I'm not even white, I'm an Arab. Since I look like a white guy, I guess she couldn’t tell the difference.
Me: Hi
HispanicGirl: Hi
Me: What are you doing sitting here by yourself? Where are your friends?
HispanicGirl: [points to her friends, standing/talking]
Me: Oh, so you're just chillin? You're too cool for your own friends?
HispanicGirl: I'm tired.
Me: You know... [pause]... I think I'm the ONLY white guy here.
HispanicGirl: I know! I noticed!
Me: You noticed? (jokingly) Great, we got a stalker here, ladies and gentlemen.
We start joking/laughing about how I'm the minority in that place. My buddy says it's like the time I walked into a club that was all african american. ... ?... Confused, but I run with it, and make up a story about how I show up at this place full of black dudes.
I say that it was strange at first, but I walked out with everyone loving me, saying "play that funky music, white boy" and she's loving the story. The funny thing is, I'm not even white, I'm an Arab. Since I look like a white guy, I guess she couldn’t tell the difference.
Surprise
"What are you doing sitting by yourself, young lady? Where are your friends?"
She tells me her friends are dancing, and she's relaxing. We talk/laugh for a few minutes. I spontaneously grab her hand and say "let's go dance", and we're off.
After we dance, we're out on the patio talking. We're building a connection, and everything's going good, but she's not flirting back or returning any touching. Her friends show up, and I have some fun with them, they start to love me.
She still won't return my flirting, but continues touching me on my arm. She's not resisting, she's just letting it all happen with a straight face. Weird. They talk about leaving, so I start to eject on the basis of finding my friends. Out of NOWHERE, she says "hey wait, lemme give you my number". She also invited me back to their place to smoke and hang out.
Now I get it: she's high on something. That explained why she giggled alot, why she was a bit slow and had a poker face while I touched her, like she was deep in thought. Drugs are a no-no for me. A turnoff.
Damnit! She looked so innocent, I never would've guessed she was high. Lesson learned: you never know someone until you KNOW someone.
The Absent Wingman
I decide to grab a drink and head to the patio with my buddy.
On the patio, we see two cute girls, a friendly chubby girl and a dude that looked like he was ready to fight someone. My buddy starts chatting with the big girl, and I start talking to the guy with a simple "Wadup man, how you doin?" After I disarm him (luckily he spoke arabic, so do I... kinda), we both turn to the two cuties.
Me: Hi friends! [I turn to the guy] So, who are your friends?
-he introduces me to his girlfriends-
Me: He's awesome. I just met this guy, and he's like family.
Girl #1: He's my cousin.
Me: Oh! Then, we're all family. Group hug! [hugs]
After talking for a bit, one girl said "you're pretty touchy". I didn't even realize it, but I guess I was touching her too much. Lesson learned. They eventually went to go dance, and I turn back to see my buddy still talking to that big girl.
Walking through the dance floor, I pull three girls together saying "You guys are having WAAAY too much fun!" We dance/laugh for a bit, and I go back to the bar.
I saw this girl earlier and thought "damn, sexy shirt on a sexy girl". Now, she was outside with 4 girlfriends. I went in directly with a compliment.
Me: That shirt?... [pause]... is AWESOME. I saw you inside, and it was glowing in the light.
SexyShirt: Thanks. [she had an accent, like... Russian?]
Me: So, what's the occasion?
SexyShirt: It's her bachelorette party.
Me: Really? Congrats! Hi-five! Hi-fives all around!
They all giggle and smile. I ask a couple questions like if she's nervous yet, what if ____ happened during the wedding, etc. They laugh, and smile, but aren't really contributing to the conversation, so I leave on a good note. I see my buddy talking to another chubby girl. I leave and come back, and he asks me what I said to those girls because they kept asking "who is he?", "find out who he's with", "he's hot", etc. What the hell!?! They were like zombies when I was talking to them!
Oh well. Lessons learned: tone down the touching, and don't leave just because they're not responding as much as I would like.
On the patio, we see two cute girls, a friendly chubby girl and a dude that looked like he was ready to fight someone. My buddy starts chatting with the big girl, and I start talking to the guy with a simple "Wadup man, how you doin?" After I disarm him (luckily he spoke arabic, so do I... kinda), we both turn to the two cuties.
Me: Hi friends! [I turn to the guy] So, who are your friends?
-he introduces me to his girlfriends-
Me: He's awesome. I just met this guy, and he's like family.
Girl #1: He's my cousin.
Me: Oh! Then, we're all family. Group hug! [hugs]
After talking for a bit, one girl said "you're pretty touchy". I didn't even realize it, but I guess I was touching her too much. Lesson learned. They eventually went to go dance, and I turn back to see my buddy still talking to that big girl.
Walking through the dance floor, I pull three girls together saying "You guys are having WAAAY too much fun!" We dance/laugh for a bit, and I go back to the bar.
I saw this girl earlier and thought "damn, sexy shirt on a sexy girl". Now, she was outside with 4 girlfriends. I went in directly with a compliment.
Me: That shirt?... [pause]... is AWESOME. I saw you inside, and it was glowing in the light.
SexyShirt: Thanks. [she had an accent, like... Russian?]
Me: So, what's the occasion?
SexyShirt: It's her bachelorette party.
Me: Really? Congrats! Hi-five! Hi-fives all around!
They all giggle and smile. I ask a couple questions like if she's nervous yet, what if ____ happened during the wedding, etc. They laugh, and smile, but aren't really contributing to the conversation, so I leave on a good note. I see my buddy talking to another chubby girl. I leave and come back, and he asks me what I said to those girls because they kept asking "who is he?", "find out who he's with", "he's hot", etc. What the hell!?! They were like zombies when I was talking to them!
Oh well. Lessons learned: tone down the touching, and don't leave just because they're not responding as much as I would like.
Welcome
Welcome to my blog. This is my first entry.
I've been going out for almost a year now, alone. Well, not exactly alone. I've been out with friends a few times, but they have no idea what I'm doing.
What am I doing you ask? Well for the past year, I've been going out and approaching women, or groups of men and women, learning the art of attraction. I want to know exactly how to get a woman attracted, and the exact formula to accomplish this. I've spent the past two years reading all sorts of advice on attracting women, and watching all sorts of videos of guys approaching women.
The problem is: it doesn't work as much as they say. I've had the worst kinds of rejection during my first five months of trying it, because I've been following all this bad advice. So now, I'm learning on my own and developing my own theories and techniques.
It's been about a year of approaching women and going on dates, and although I'm learning alot, I'm not a master just yet. This is a collection of my experiences and my lessons learned.
Enjoy.
I've been going out for almost a year now, alone. Well, not exactly alone. I've been out with friends a few times, but they have no idea what I'm doing.
What am I doing you ask? Well for the past year, I've been going out and approaching women, or groups of men and women, learning the art of attraction. I want to know exactly how to get a woman attracted, and the exact formula to accomplish this. I've spent the past two years reading all sorts of advice on attracting women, and watching all sorts of videos of guys approaching women.
The problem is: it doesn't work as much as they say. I've had the worst kinds of rejection during my first five months of trying it, because I've been following all this bad advice. So now, I'm learning on my own and developing my own theories and techniques.
It's been about a year of approaching women and going on dates, and although I'm learning alot, I'm not a master just yet. This is a collection of my experiences and my lessons learned.
Enjoy.